![]() The partners in the exciting group were attached with Velcro straps and had to crawl while carrying a pillow between their bodies the partners doing the mundane task just rolled a ball. In one study, couples had to complete a task that was either novel and physiologically arousing, or mundane. One way to counteract that effect is by introducing variety, so try new things with your partner-especially challenging activities. Sexual passion is prone to "hedonic adaptation": We get habituated to even the best things in our lives. Will We Ever Swing from the Chandeliers Again? Lodro Rinzler is executive director of the Institute for Compassionate Leadership and the author of Walk Like a Buddha. And then you don't want to dance anymore. As someone once told me, if you're dancing with someone and aren't paying close attention to the way he's moving, you step all over each other. But when we label a person-even if it's something positive, like "my rock"-we're solidifying him.ĭrop your story about who your partner is and see him with a "fresh-start mind." Decide that today you're going to learn three new things about him, or you're going to really listen when you have dinner together. We can forget that our romantic partner is always changing, just like we are, and we develop fixed ideas about who he is. Try looking at your spouse with the eyes of a new lover. How Can I Fall Back in Love with My Partner? Who's to say that's not fate?įay Goldman is the founder of Meaningful Connections, a matchmaking service in New York City. So many people say, "I always thought I'd just run into someone-that fate would bring us together." But there have been times when I've met with a client and the very next day, in walked the person that client wound up marrying. Super-successful but available to spend all his time with me." I see this with clients who say, "I want him to be self-confident but not arrogant. People don't necessarily know what they really want, anyway. ![]() I don't think there's only one partner for each of us we can find happiness with a number of different people, and waiting for some ideal match may keep you from seeing what's right in front of you. It's not necessarily your most passionate relationship, or even the person you marry. To me, a soul mate is someone you feel you've known forever. ![]()
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